First, THANK YOU to the many, many people who have asked how I am doing! It is so appreciated. I am okay.
This post has been a LONG time coming. It's pretty in-depth. If you'd prefer a one-paragraph summary, here goes:
I was diagnosed with breast cancer August 4, had a lumpectomy September 3, my 21 daily radiation treatments were complete November 4, and I have started tamoxifen and venlafaxine with minimal side effects. My skin barely burned and is completely healed, as are my surgical incisions. Yes, the surgeon took away all the visible cancer and my prognosis is good. Pathology reports of lymph nodes and tumor margins were completely clear. Hopefully, I won't have to deal with any more cancer for the rest of my life. The very positive thing that's come out of the experience is extreme clarity in most of my decisions since I tend to value my life a LOT more these days.
That's the gist that most people want to hear and that I truly want to believe! STOP READING if you're short on time. If not, I'd like to clear up some cancer myths a LOT of folks still believe because, thankfully for them, they haven't needed or wanted to learn more about the disease. I'm no expert, but have compiled a lot of good information from multiple books, articles, and discussions with my physicians and other cancer patient friends.
CANCER MYTHS THAT BUG ME
MYTH #1: YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO GET CANCER, LIKE SPEND TIME IN TOXIC ENVIRONMENTS OR EAT THE WRONG FOODS.
Nope. Just nope. A couple of people suggested that since some of my WV girlfriends have also been stricken with breast cancer, our common time hanging out in the environment of the WVU Creative Arts Center for many years must be to blame. Something there MUST have caused our cancer. (Asbestos or mold, anyone?) Or, maybe our diet. Lifestyle? That HAS to be it.
Wrong.
Although there are 5 known controllable risk factors for breast cancer (obesity, alcohol consumption, late in life pregnancy, sedentary lifestyle, and multiple years on birth control pills), there are just as many uncontrollable ones, including family history and just plain bad luck.
The tendency when you're blindsided with the diagnosis, as I was August 4, is to blame yourself. But there has been absolutely no scientific evidence that any one behavior (or a combination) causes cancer. Some people's cells just plain decide to betray them, and no one knows why at this time in our history (here's hoping for a CURE in our lifetimes, though).
MYTH #2: THEY GOT IT ALL! YOU'RE CURED!
You're never truly cured of cancer. There is always a chance of recurrence, no matter what surgery or treatment plan you've got in place. Many kinds are treatable, but cancer patients are forever on "cancer surveillance," as my surgeon calls it. My possibility of recurrence, I'm told, is < 2%. That's fantastic and helps ease the mind a bit. But it's not 0. No one's is.
That's a tough pill to swallow - that once diagnosed, you have to think about cancer for the rest of your life. I still think about it a LOT daily, but I'm told this fades over time. I am looking forward to the day when it doesn't cross my mind once.
MYTH #3: HAVING A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY IS BETTER FOR PROGNOSIS THAN JUST A LUMPECTOMY.
Double, or bilateral mastectomy, is when both breasts are removed. A lumpectomy is called a partial mastectomy because just the lesion, its surrounding tissue, and often a few lymph nodes are removed. I had a lumpectomy. The chance of recurrence for lumpectomy + radiation patients is exactly the same as the chance of recurrence for mastectomy patients, even though the latter involves no remaining breast tissue. The reason for this is because there is always the slightest chance that microscopic cancer cells could have broken free even before diagnosis and settled somewhere else in the body, rearing their ugly heads months or years or decades later. The chance of this happening is very rare, but since it's still a chance, it has to be considered in the statistics. Lumpectomy patients almost always undergo radiation therapy as an "insurance policy" of sorts, to help prevent any sneaky cells from popping back up. Furthermore, hormone-positive tumors like mine benefit from a third part of the insurance policy: hormone blockers like tamoxifen, which hopefully starve any pesky microscopic hormone-loving cells. DIE, YOU JERK CELLS.
MYTH #4: ALL WOMEN ARE COMFORTED BY BEING REFERRED TO AS 'WARRIORS' OR 'SURVIVORS.'
This is a tricky one. Here's the deal - people who haven't personally lived this disease have no idea how to talk to the cancer-ridden person about it. They try (I did, too, with my girlfriends before I got it). Their hearts are ALL in the right place. But just as every woman is different, every situation is different. Some folks love all the attention and labels and pink gear. Some want NO part of any of that because it's just another reminder that this thing they didn't want to define them, in fact, has done that very thing.
Five years ago, I created for one of my friends what I thought was a beautiful ornament with a photo of all of us in our pink during one of the walks for life. I was the super supportive friend with the PERFECT present! Then one day, she very sweetly and diplomatically told me she really didn't want any more things like that, because she didn't want any reminders of the experience.
I am middle-of-the-road with how I feel about all this. I really am. So many people did and said kind and thoughtful things for our family when I was initially facing this, it was extremely moving. I love my pink gear and wear it often. However, I DO feel as if the 'survivor' term is strange because it's meant to imply I've fought something and won, which I haven't. I got a diagnosis and cried/felt nauseous for an entire month, then had a million tests, then surgery, then drove myself to what felt like a trillion radiation treatments, and now I pop a pill each day for 10 years to hopefully keep it away. Nothing about that really says "fight" to me, even though I definitely started honoring that nomenclature and even have it as a label for all these posts. Still, though...
Aren't ALL humans fighting and surviving something (especially in 2020, HOLY MOLY)?
MYTH #5: I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT A MAMMOGRAM UNTIL I AM 50.
The guidelines for this change ALL THE TIME so it's easy to be confused about the current recommendation. So I suppose this doesn't really qualify as a 'myth' but I definitely have a STRONG opinion about it - GET THE MAMMOGRAM. AT 40! A friend did, and was, unfortunately yet fortunately, diagnosed with her VERY FIRST MAMMOGRAM. Will the mammogram catch everything? NOPE. Lots of times it catches a little and then you find yourself in an MRI where it catches more, and thankfully so. Sometimes it catches nothing (hence the yearly visit to make sure things get caught the next go-around). There is also the self-exam which you should do monthly in the shower. But many of my "cancer club" sisters did not feel anything, and instead were diagnosed as a result of a routine mammogram. I was the same. Just go with your gut here on when to get that mammo, but I tend to lean to as close to 40 as you can, and earlier if ANYTHING seems weird. Above all else, if you have a good feeling about your doctor, LISTEN to him/her. And if something doesn't feel right about your doctor, CHANGE ASAP.
MYTH #6: MY FRIEND IS DONE WITH HER TREATMENT AND WILL BE BACK TO HER OLD SELF.
As I mentioned earlier, you're never really done. It's a life-threatening and thus life-altering thing. However, the "new normal" I've personally found myself in has been a promising one. Decisions about all things are easier. I am taking a genuine interest in caring about my mental and physical health because the universe slapped me up the side of the head and I got the message loud and clear. Life and the small things it offers just plain mean more.
If you've made it to this point, thank you. Getting it out there really helps me process and heal, and I appreciate you coming along for the ride. So, I am just okay. I'd like to get this experience a little more in the rear view mirror before I feel like I can upgrade to 'good.'
And you know what?
That is okay!
